Love in the Movies...

I'm writing a book. Most of you know this already, right? If you didn't before, you sure do now.

My book is all about a Southern Woman. She's got a very large, very extensive family. She's got a (recently deceased) great-grandmother. She's got a very much alive and kicking Grandmother. She's got a mother that is very involved in her business. She's got a best friend that isn't afraid to tell her (or anyone else) what's what and who's who.

And she's got a man.

Of course, at the beginning of the story, she doesn't have a man. She has the memory of a man. She can still smell the essence of the man in her dreams. She can still feel his touch, hear his voice, picture his face every time she closes her eyes. She will end up with this man, of course. That is the nature of love in books. At least the books that I enjoy. The strong (we're talking strong as steel here!) woman ALWAYS ends up with the man, if that's what she wants. That's just the way of it in books. And movies.

Tonight, I walked down Memory Lane with a movie. I watched one of my stellar favorites from the early '90's- REALITY BITES. I can remember spending night after night on my couch watching this movie. I would lick my lips when Ethan Hawke appeared. I would hang on his every word. When he was in bed with Winona Ryder's character and he whispers "I've pictured you like this" I would always sigh. When he shows up at her house, 2 minutes from the end, and explains about the regret that is sitting on his shoulders, and how he wishes he could go back to "that night we made love" and do everything over... oh yes - even after all these years - my breath still catches in my chest, and my eyes still well up with tears.

That led me to think about love in books, and in the movies. It's AMAZING, isn't it? I mean, there is a slow build up, something MAJOR happens, something BAD happens, then the hero swoops in and says THE PERFECT WORDS (whether that be something like "We'll always have Paris" or "I was stuck in traffic", it doesn't matter!), and they live Happily Ever After. That's how it's supposed to be. Isn't it?

But is that how it is In Real Life? I mean, does the heroine always get her man? Does she end up with The Love Of Her Life every time? Does everyone get The Big Romantic Moment, just like in the movies?

You might say no. You might think that nobody really gets that. You might believe that the fairy tale is just a fairy tale, and fantasy never happens in real life.

I beg to differ.

I believe, without hesitation, without doubt of any kind, that we all - each and every one of us, has had (or will have) one of those perfect movie moments at one time or another.

Don't believe me? Think about it.

For me, that moment happened years ago. I was on a ship. I'd been in a not so pleasant marriage, and an even more unpleasant rebound relationship. In between those two, I thought I'd found The Man Of My Dreams. But he either didn't want to be TMOMD or didn't realize that he wasn't following the movie script that was already written in my head. He left me. Destroyed.


Enter The Other Guy.



He was younger. He was sexy in a way that I'd never really been attracted to before. He was kind. He was a little bit cocky. He swaggered in a James Dean sort of way when he went from place to place. He could power a small town with the magnitude of his smile.

I wasn't supposed to fall for him. I decided early on that he would be just a fling, someone that would take my mind off my heartache. Little did I know...

My fall from "aloof older woman with a heart of stone" was gradual. Just like in the books. Very much like in the movies. It was subtle - a touch here, a smoldering glance there, laughs over silly things, a shoulder to cry on when I needed it. I did NOT want to fall in love with this man. He wasn't what I had in mind. At all. The very real obstacles to a happy relationship were like HUGE blinking road lights warning "CAUTION! Don't go this way! The bridge is OUT!!"

Of course, like with all the best romances, I didn't heed the warnings.

And one night, in a scene that could easily have been taken from one of my favorite movies, IT happened. We were in the middle of the Persian Gulf. Planes were taking off from the carrier all night long. We'd been on watch for hours, and knew that we had many more hours to go before we could even think about sleeping. Our country was at war, undeclared though it was. We were both in jobs that required our total attention. If we failed, bad things would happen to innocent people. And yet, on that night, it was something that even Hollywood would envy.

He just grabbed my hand, pulled me around, and right there, in the middle of the p-way, asked me to marry him. 1210am, December 17th. I was too shocked to speak. But not too shocked to know that moments like that didn't happen often.

It was something straight out of the pages of a romance novel, and it happened to ME. It would make the PERFECT climactic scene in a movie - BUT IT HAPPENED TO ME!

I've asked friends about this. I've done hundreds of hours of research on this topic. I've re-lived my own experience more times than I can count. And still it boils down to this...

Love in the Movies? It's got nothing - NOTHING - on love in real life.

Practically everyone has their moment like this. Just about every person I know has a story that is worthy of Hollywood or Harlequin.

So for those of you out there that haven't had That Perfect Moment yet - don't despair.

Chances are, it will also happen to you.

And when it does?

It will be even better than that final few seconds of your favorite love story.

I promise.



And even Ethan Hawke couldn't make it more perfect when it does.