The end of the first week of the New Year...

Where has the time gone?!?

Can you believe we're almost a full week into the New Year already? As I sit here, on this incredibly warm Saturday morning, I find myself wondering where the time has gone. I mean, just yesterday (well, ok, a few days ago) it was last year. Now, the first week is fading.

Honestly thinking that I have a snowcones shot in hell of making sense this morning, I've decided to blog a bit. See, I had a full house last night. Eight boys, between the ages of 7 and 13. I'm still standing, and so is my house. That's a bonus. No holes were knocked in the wall. Another bonus. It was the annual Michael's Birthday Sleepover and Game-System Challenge. Basically, the Christmas Eve-born oldest male child postpones his birthday bash until the first weekend in january, to make sure that any friends travelling during the holiday season are able to make it to his party. For the past few years, he's had the same type of party. The boys come over Friday night, then spend the night awake, playing XBox, Playstation, or GameCube. This year, they got to play the new Wii as well. We try to get rid of the girls that night, and it's all about the boys having fun. The only rules are that they are not allowed to leave the house, and they are not allowed to fight. This year, we had them all on the main floor of the house, one room for the Wii on the big screen, another room for any other system on the smaller tv. Only one kid made it all the way through the night, and that was my younger son, Mathew. I generally try to stay awake for most of the night, and my last head check was at 4:15 this morning. Then I got up at 8:30 to fix pancakes and bacon. So yeah, I'm a bit tired. But the smile on Michael's face more than made up for it. And he even hugged me. Without being paid, coerced or threatened. It was really cool.

I've been a writing slacker. I haven't written a single thing ALL YEAR. That's all I've got to say about that.

I've been working more than I wanted to this year. I worked four days this week, and it just wreaked havoc with my writing and reading schedule. But there may be a solution. I was offered a job the other night while I was at work. A very nice woman asked me if I would consider working for her, NOT AS A WAITRESS!! Yeah, I was pretty jazzed. She runs an assisted living group home for mentally challenged adults, and she asked me if I'd come over for dinner next week and see if I liked it. It sounds like a very emotionally and mentally fulfilling job, and not nearly as physically exhausting as the food place. So I'm seriously considering it.

I have to tell you that part of the reason I'm thinking about a new job is because I've been taking stock of my life a lot lately. No, I'm not big into resolutions at all. I think people really set themselves up for failure with those, and it just seems sad to me. If you eant to lose weight, or quit smoking, or something, then just do it. Don't wait for a special day, and put a label on it, then feel like a failure if you don't live up to that resolution. Just do it. Start any day of the week, and decide to try to change. *I* am worth it t o change. *YOU* are worth it as well. Who needs a publicly announced list to live up to? Not me.

Anyhow, taking stock of my life... I don't want to feel boxed into things anymore. i don't want to do things out of duty or obligation. I want to do them because I love doing them, and no otehr reason. I liked the restaurant when I started. I still like my friends up there. But really, the job has lost its shine for me. It's just a job now. Yes, I am very spoiled. I have a husband that has a job that makes it possible for me to not have to scramble for a full time position. Still, I like to have a little extra in my pocket, I like a few hours away from the kids, and I like having a place where they know me by my first name, instead of "Mom". So I was already thinking about quitting, but not sure what I wanted to do next. I like trying new things, and I like new experiences. I wanted some sort of adventure. I wanted something that would keep my mind fresh and introduce new ideas for stories on a fairly regular basis. I think I found it in this new job offer. Honestly, since I spoke with that woman Thursday night, I've had a sotry forming in my head. I can't start writing it yet, of course. I really need to finish the other ones that I've already started. But still, it's there, growing each hour that passes. And already, I can hear a woman's voice. And I can see a man's face. And I know what the conflict will be. And I know the resolution. And it's getting crisper and clearer in my head with each thought. So I've got to finish at least one of the ones going, so I can start this new one.

And that brings me to my other 'take stock' issue. I really need to finish my stories. I need to get over my fear and finish one, so I can send it out to a few of you and get some feedback, and know if I'm wasitng my time or not. I know that it's just fear keeping my fingers from the keyboard, even though I'm very creative in coming up with loads of excuses not to be writing. I have to get over the fear and finish. So I can know. Are you getting that the fear isn't about finishing the story so much as the reality of sending it out and waiting to hear if it's any good?

That's all for now. I've got to clean up after the boys. Then I'm heading upstairs to check on my people, see if they're still where I left them, see if they're even speaking to me anymore after I ignored them for so long.

I'll let you know how it goes.