And LIFE again.

I feel like I've been riding a roller coaster of schtuff the past few weeks. I'm wondering if it's ever going to end. But then, if it ends, I guess that means that it's OVER, right? I don't think I'm quite ready for that, so I'm just pretending to be Honey Moon, riding Black Thunder these days, hanging on for dear life, riding out the dips and the drops, waiting to hit the top of the mountain and be able to touch God again. If you have any idea what I'm talking about, good for you. All you other people - you need to READ more, man. If you want a list of decent books, let me know!

The final burial service for my friend was today. I didn't go. I would have gone. Maybe even should have gone. But seriously, his funeral service last week was rough. Way rough. It was even harder to sit in church on Sunday morning and watch his beautiful wife, struggle through her first Sunday morning church service without him. I almost didn't make it. The only thing that kept me there was seeing her strength. But let me tell you, there were times when I had to really remind myself that there is a Perfect Plan in all of this. It's hard not to question. Really. Really. Hard.

However, my reason for not going today are different. You know that I've all but gone underground the past few weeks. I can't tell you how much your love and support has meant. From the daily e-mails from some of you, to the PERFECT 'sympathy' cards (yes, it IS the perfect card, don't even think twice about it McB!), to the well placed (answer your damn phone) calls, to everything in between, you guys have been awesome. Thanks for letting me just be. I needed it.

But now I need to start getting on with things. And that means getting back to doing what I like to do. Which means helpig people that need it. So, today I spent the day at Bethesda with a friend, while she went through her first radiation treatment. The drive was long, but very fun. The waiting room was not too cold. The lunch after was wonderful. And she's doing GREAT. Thanks so much for all of your prayers about her. She reminded me, in that special way that she has, that there is still a lot of living left to do here. She's fought so hard to hang on to life, it just doesn't seem right to wallow in my sorrow any longer.

On the downside, the past few weeks have brought a few more hard knocks. My brother is going through a certain amount of turmoil in his life. Please keep him in your thoughts. His ex-girlfriend just found out she's got Lupus. Keep her in your thoughts as well. A friend at work learned that a recent mammogram reveals something, and will have to have a biopsy. Pray for her please. Another very dear friend is having some fairly serious health issues, and another friend is going through a very difficult pregnancy.

All in all, it seems like every day has brought a new set of challenges, one right after the next. I feel like I've gone 15 rounds against Tyson lately. I come to grips with one issue just to have a new one pop up the very next day. It's been exhausting, to say the least. Today is the first day in almost a week that I've even been on the computer. I literally haven't checked e-mail since the weekend, and that's saying a lot for a person that generally checks it every few minutes. So if you've sent me something in the past few weeks, please be patient as I wade through the 800 or so that have accumulated while life has been knocking around the people I love most. I've set aside some time this week to sort through stuff that I've been pushing aside, and I will try my hardest to get back on track.

In the midst of all of this, work has been keeping me busy. For a job that's supposed to be 'part time' I've been spending a ridiculous amount of time up there. Yes, I know I said I was going to quit, so stop grumbling, ok, Char? I will when I can. I want to save some cash for the long dry months of summer, when I plan to be writing my fingers to the bone in preparation for New Jersey. I have to have a story done by then.

I've got to take the kids off to church now. Tomorrow I'm running a training class at work. On Friday, it's All About Dee Day. Which means I plan on spending lots of time online, getting out a questionaire to a brilliant writer that agreed to be my FAB Pick over on the book review site, clearing off my old computer and getting everything loaded onto the Mac, and maybe even sneaking out to get a pedicure. Who knows. I may even blog again. Til then though, know that you guys are awesome, I love you all, and please keep the following people in your thoughts and prayers:

Ron, Shelley, Renee, Pat, Danny, Caroline, Sarah, Kim, Kelly, Kimber, Jessica, and me.