Aaaaahhhhhh, young love... and that means I AM OLD!!

Tonight, at VBS, I had one of those really awkward moments. I was approached by another lady at our church with "So, I hear our kids are an item now". Wow! News to me. Not to be outdone though, I just smiled and replied, "Oh, so you heard, huh?"

What this boils down to is this...my lovely young daughter Gret, the one that you see above, has her very first boyfriend. This young man asked her to "go out" with him on Sunday, and she said "yes". Now, "going out" doesn't mean that they're actually allowed to "Go" anyplace. She knows how we feel about dating, and she is, after all, only 14. However, this is the first time that she's ever had a "boyfriend". She's had crushes, lots of them. She's liked a few boys, and MANY have liked her. I'm one of those moms that really keeps up with that stuff, even down to knowing which of her girlfriends are "going out" with which boys, just so I know what's going on. This is also very helpful when she gets a crush, because we can discuss how the boy treated her friend(s), and why he would or would not be a good choice for her.

She was asked out a few months back by another young man in church. She told that one "no". When I asked her why, she explained that he was her best friend's older brother, and she thinks of him as an older brother also. Plus, he's one of her very best friends, and she doesn't want to mess that up by having him as her boyfriend at this age. It was, perhaps, one of the most mature decisions that she's ever made. I was more impressed than I can say, especially since she made that decision all on her own. It also made me feel pretty un-needed, if you know what I mean. He took it pretty well though, and told her he totally understood, which I also thought was very mature. My gosh, these kids are growing up fast! He's now "going out" with one of her other close friends. Gret is fine with that, and very happy for them, and her and the young man are even closer now. I won't even pretend that it would bother me if she eventually got together with the first boy that asked her out, as I really adore that boy. But right now, we're concentrating on the current guy.

He's a sweetie. And he has NO IDEA what he's gotten himself into with MY daughter. As much as I love my child, I have to admit that she is more than a handful, and it's all my fault, thankyouverymuch. She is what one might call "high maintenance", with very good reason. This is the child that could perfectly enunciate "Don't antagonize me" at age 2, drank Perrier at age 3, rolled her eyes at age 5, totally understood sarcasm and cynicism at age 7, ate grilled honey salmon and asparagus by choice instead of anything off the kids menu at age 9, has worn nothing but Clinique makeup since age 12, and now thinks that the perfect food to pack for camping is steak and shrimp. She also loves to shop, never has enough shoes, prefers a good book to a boring movie, can't live without music, has her own laptop and cell phone, and thinks that every woman deserves to be treated as well as her dad treats me. (Yeah, on that last one, she's in for a rude awakening one day, but I hope that day isn't for a very long time, and I hope the boy can run faster than Shane can shoot, or there will be MUCH blood!)

She wants to invite his whole family over for dinner next weekend, so it won't be awkward. She also knows that she's not allowed to be anywhere alone with him. At all. Ever. Or at least until she's 18. I am very thankful that we're homeschooling, or I wouldn't be able to keep an eye on things as well as I can now. I also like that she is willing to share with me. I think about her friends, and their parents, and I want to cry. Out of her 5 closest friends, one of them has a GREAT relationship with her mom. She's the oldest of her firends, and my favorite. The next oldest one has a decent relationship with her parents, but they don't know that she is "going out" with someone right now (my girl's boyfriends best friend). The other 3 like to hide things from their parents, and that really disturbs me. Two of them currently have boyfriends, and neither their parents, nor the parents of the boys in question have a clue. (And I am supposedly sworn to secrecy.)

All 3 of them also lie to their folks on a fairly regular basis, about things like the music that they have, the movies that they watch, the people they talk to, etc. I get a lot of snubbing from those 3 moms, because they think that I am too liberal with Gret. She's allowed to watch movies that are "R" rated, even ones with yexxy stuff, as long as I watch it with her. She's allowed to read pretty much anything, as long as I read it first (there are a few books that I've asked her to wait to read, and when I explained how sexually graphic they were, she agreed to wait without any arguments). She can listen to just about any music, as long as Shane or I check the lyrics first (I can only remember one time that we've said "no", and she understood why after we explained to her what we found in the lyrics). Basically, she has a LOT of freedom, but it is a very controlled freedom, if that makes any sense. That makes some of those moms very uncomfortable. Personally, I happen to trust her (within limits) and I want her to trust me. I want her to be able to tell me when she likes a guy without being afraid that I'll go all "mom" on her. I want her to feel free to talk to me about things without worrying that I'll ground her for liking somebody or forbid her to talk to someone.

After all is said and done though, I'm left sitting here in my chair, after midnight, thinking about the gorgeous young woman that is sleeping in her bed one floor above me. She makes me smile. She warms my heart. I see a sparkle in her eyes that steals my breath. I sense that precipice that she is dancing near, the one that will plunge her headlong into womanhood, and I tremble with both fear and excitement for her. She is my future. She is ME.

And I am suddenly feeling very, very old.