Yesterday was rather bizarre for me. I told you guys about all that is going on, including my inability to finish book. That had been really bothering me, so I decided to fix it. I bought a re-print book from one of my tried and true authors, determined to break this long dry spell of non-reader-lust. Did it work? You be the judge.
I will be posting a review of that book later today. I might even come back here and put in a link to that review. I might. No promises there. The book just affected me on such a deep level, and I haven't really been able to stop thinking about it since.
You all know about my wonderful husband, and how much I adore him. Really, he's the most decent man that I know, and I'm very lucky to have him in my life. Well, last night I went out with some friends, and The Man decided to stay home. I think I've mentioned how much I like going out without it. Not much. But I'm a big girl, and I also really enjoy the chance to get out of my house and be around other grown-ups, in a setting where I am not "Mom". I crave this time every week, so unless there are very extenuating circumstances, I tend to go out.
One of my favorite things about this new place to go is the general atmosphere. It is very nice there, and the clientele is a bit more polished than in some of the other places we've been. Perhaps one of my favorite things is just watching people. As a writer, I love trying to figure out each person's "real story", discover or invent their 'dark moment', learn what makes them tick. Let me tell you, it can get really interesting to do this at a bar. When people drink, their inhibitions are lowered, and they tend to show a side of themselves that is normally kept safely tucked away. Whether this is good or not really depends upon the person, and the side that they are revealing.
Watching the revolving door that some people seem to have placed on their hearts is disturbing to me. Seeing someone with a new warm body every week is just so sad to me. Even more difficult is trying to figure out if they've already had a 'dark moment', something that led them to treat relationships as something temporary, or if their 'dark moment' is just around the corner for them.
And of course, all of this ferments in my brain. I let it just gather up there, stewing and simmering. One of these days, it will make a really great roux, I'm sure. Right now though, it brings up some issues for me. Some of you are writers, and some of you even write romance, so help me out here.
Are there themes that you feel really do not belong in romance? I'm not talking about some big debate about other people defining romance, or trying to keep writers out of romance because of what they write, or anything else. I'm asking because of the book yesterday, and things that I see on a regular basis where I think "I could write this" but then trying to figure out what "this" is, because I just don't think it's romance.
Are there things that really trip your squick-meter? Are there certain things that just do not work for you at all when you read a romance? For me, it's adultery. I just don't think that there is any way to sell sleeping with someone that is not your spouse as romantic. If you make that commitment, if you walk the aisle and say the words, then you are supposed to forsake all others. Right?
But, you say, what if you stop loving that person, and meet another person that you really love more? Then is it ok?
For me, the answer is still 'no'. If you meet someone that you love more than the one that you're with, then get a divorce.
But, you say, what if the one you're with treats you really bad, really really bad, and you're just not happy anymore. Then is it ok?
Again, still 'no'. See my answer to the first question.
But, you say, what if you just think you made a mistake in being with the one that you're with, because this other person just gets you better, and understands you more, and really makes you smile? Then is it ok?
Still 'no'. If all of that is true, then get yourself out of the relationship you're in first, then feel free to explore your feelings with the other person.
Does this mean that I hate all books that have adultery? Not at all. I think that there are many instances where this subject is handled beautifully, and I love reading stories about love and betrayal and hurt and pain and angst, and all of that real life stuff that happens. But those aren't romances. Does this mean that I think that a book can't be a romance if it has adultery? Not necessarily. There are a few, a very select few, romance authors that are brilliant enough to bring me along and draw me into a story where one the the MCs is unfaithful. For the most part though, I just don't find that romantic.
Thankfully, I am not the person that gets to sit in the big red chair and determine what is romance and what is not. I am the person that gets to sit in my bed, underneath my down comforter, and write down a story on my shiny laptop. Is it going to be a romance? I'm really not sure yet. I think that Almost Southern is more about Glory than it is about the relationship between Glory and Pete. They already have an established relationship. And I just don't know if Glory could ever cheat on her man.
So tell me, what themes make you cringe when you see them? I'm not looking to start a debate here, I'm just interested in what makes your skin crawl when it comes to romance. Is there anything? Or are you one of those people for which anything goes?
Oh yeah, and I promised that I'd say hello to my very dear friend Bill. He actually drove up from Glouster to meet me last night. We had a great time hanging out, people watching, and talking. Bill is one of those special people in my life, that just accepts me for the crazy that I am. He actually started out being friends with The Man, but I stole him. And he told me if I didn't say hi that he wouldn't make the trip again. So HI BILL. Now you have to come back up in a few weeks. Of course, I guess it's really The Man's turn to go out with you now. Bummer. :)
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4 comments:
If it's really well written, nothing is taboo for me. Not to say some things don't make me cringe, but I can accept them if the writer sells them as integral to the story. That said, I have to be in the right frame of mind to read a lot of the more gruesome romantic suspense. And torturing animals and children. And I completely agree about the adultery excuses. End one relationship before you begin another. Period. But I'll still read it if it's written right.
This conversation always makes my brain hurt, because I'm on the fence with so many things. I guess it does depend on how it's written, and it's all a matter of personal taste. Like, I like contemporary mainstream kind of romances, so I don't run into a lot of the really hard-core pushing this limits kind of stuff very often. That said, I've got eclectic tastes, so you never know what I might pick up outside of the romance genre at any given moment. Is that a wishy-washy enough answer for you?
Well, here's the thing. If the book is well-written, I'll read it. I've read books that contained adultery, of course, and usually I just end up not liking the character and, depending on how it's handled, the book, too. Sometimes that's the author's intention (to not like the character), sometimes it's not. I will never, ever feel good about a character that commits adultery. That said, an author can write whatever he or she wants. I don't draw that line anywhere.
I also don't like to read about situations in which children get hurt or suffer or die, or where mothers die, or, you know, lately, anything said or death-related. Sigh.
It can hit high on my squick-meter without making it taboo. Its more a comfort thing for me than a judgment. I think a lot of books written by women get thrown into the romance genre by default. Then again, some authors I consider romance authors are now to be found in the mystery and/or literature section. I think the line is getting fuzzier all the time, partly because of all the subgenres that exist now and partly because nobody is sure just how to market fiction geared towards women.
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